Every time I sit down to write a new blog, I can’t help but dream about the day I will blog about being a Mommy. But until then I will just keep writing about my feelings in the waiting stage.
People always say to me that when we do finally get our children that all of the waiting and hard times will just melt away and disappear. Well, the truth is, I don’t ever want that to happen. I know that may sound crazy, but I will explain. Every year, week, day & second that goes by, every background check done, every home study done, every hurdle jumped, every pain , every excitement and let down, every heartache and every single tear shed is leading us to our children . And for that reason, I NEVER want to forget. I never want to take for granted the journey we are taking to get to our forever family. I want our children to know that we did it all for them. Because we loved them way before we even met them and that there was NOTHING that would stop us from bringing them home.
This whole adoption process is the hardest thing I have ever been through. But you know how when you do something and you know without a doubt that is what you were supposed to do? That is how I feel about us adopting. I know, without question that this is our purpose. I may not know the reason for the bumpy road, but I know adoption is God’s plan for our family.
Sometimes people ask me how I work at a daycare full of children. They say that it must be so hard because we want children so badly. Oh, but it is just the opposite. Some days those children can say just what I need to hear on a hard day. For those of you that don’t know, we recently had a young girl looking at our file and we really thought that she was going to pick us. Everybody was praying for us, even some of the children at the daycare. We knew the day that the girl was making her decision and so did everybody at the daycare. I went to work expecting a phone call later that morning. I fixed snack and took it over to the lunchroom where the 2 year old classes were waiting. When I walked in, one of the little girls (I can’t say names per work policy) so excitedly said “Rachael, Rachael, you are going to get a baby from God. You are you are. You are going to get a baby from God!” Not knowing the news yet I was excited that she said this out of the blue. Well about an hour later I received the phone call telling me that we were not chosen. I left worked early and went home. The next day everyone already knew. When I was leaving work that day I ran into the mother of the little girl. She told me that her daughter and son had been praying for me. There is no way to ever explain how much that means to me. There is just something extra special about little children praying for you. I really believe that God used that little girl in the lunch room that morning before I got my phone call. I think it was His way of letting me know that even though this was not our time, we are going to get a baby from God.